I'll show you!!!

Why is it, when I feel pretty confident and only slightly frazzled, that he decides to throw a curve ball and once again remind me of my worthlessness. Well, the worthlessness I possess, in his opinion. WHY??? Our phone call today reminded me why it's a great thing we're separated/divorcing. He makes me feel so insignificant, worthless and just plain crappy. He knows he's doing it, too. I think that's what makes it worse! He told me he's done with me. He's done being my friend. I need to find a cell phone carrier and get car insurance bc he's booting me off of both very soon. He also told me that I've taken all of his friends from him, like BJ and James, so I can have that too he guesses. WHAT??? I'm so lost!!

I lost my shit. I was trying to remain calm up front at work, but started to lose it. So, I walked back to the freezer and lost it. I began to hyperventilate and tried not to cry so as not to make my face too red. After about 5 minutes of sobbing and trying to breathe, I gathered my composure and walked back out to the line and just went about my business. No one asked me anything, even the people who had watched me lose it. They kept to themselves and let me be. I'm thankful for them. If it weren't for them, leaving me alone, never asking if I was ok, I'd have lost my shit in the middle of the rush.

I feel as though I'm losing my mind. Everyone tells me to just leave him in the dust. Get rid of any of his crap that's in the storage unit. Tell him to shove off. Let him go completely. I'm not like him though. I can't just cut ties and no longer care. I can't be mean and not feel guilty for it. I'm too nice and I'm trying to work on it. I'm slowly growing out of my doormat shell.


Here's to an easy life, a grand adventure and a soundtrack worthy of Hollywood.

Liza B.